I now have my own site, if any of you would like to go and write down a few critiques, then post them as comments under this journal that would be great.

[link]

not really much for writing anything profound for now. but sooner or later I will have to update this place.

I'll talk about it in a minute... i'm drunk!

"I know what TRUE love is, and to know that is to be alone in this world."


In a topic regarding relationships, love, and long distance. my cousin spoke to me with great consideration, which then formed brilliance. this is what he told me:

"I have my own problems. i do not like bein a middle man, for anyone. especially when i cant even find a girl for myself. you don't know how hard it is for me. I was brought up by parents who loved me unconditionally. and showed it at every available circumstance. that has imprinted on my mind. I have a setting for love, a different mindset, I know what TRUE love is. and to know that, is to be alone in this world.
How many people do you see who know that? very little. the amount of abused and neglected kids is staggering.
when it comes to love, and showing it, there is a middleground. suffice to say there will be a couple like us. a select few. let me tell you. when i find me a girl. she will be the happiest girl on the face of the earth. becuz i will love her. physically maybe. but i will make her the happiest female i can. in whatever way possible. becuz its all about self sacrifice. what you are willing to do for a significant other?
listen. this is a very simple way to put it. because genders are natural opposites. we are of capable of equal integrity, and control. but often it works as such. becuz this is the way we as a society have carved our minds. men trade love for sex. women trade sex for love. that is the only way i can really describe it. men will say: "i love you" to get laid. women will allow this becuz they need love. and they think words mean all. if you trualy meant everything you said. you would almost never speak. if words were as valuable as gold. those who say the least would be the richest.
when you love someone, there is a connection that is noticable. but it MUST be mutual, if not then one person is taking advantage. or has already done so. valuable relationships are not forged with condoms. there will never be a good outcome to something that starts that way. im not sayin you cant have fun. but to give up yourself for nothing, and expect return is one of the most foolish things i could possibly imagine. "

*sniff* "MMMMMMM NOXIOUSE FOOOOMS!" -

just been hanging out. going out or to a party here or there. drawing when I can, and working a whole hell of a lot. I'm obsessed with getting my 6pack abbs. I have been working out and running every single day. I heard something about createn helping you convert weight into muscle mass. so I'm going to look into that. although, I just had the last of grandpa's createn (there was only like a teaspoon left) and he sort of got on my case about it. (I found it shoved in the back of the pantry, nalgected for weeks. why did he suddenly care?)
anyway
I'm feeling like men are retarded. so get this:
when I am a bitch to guys they love me. they want to take me on dates. they ask for my number. and when they finally get it, they ask me every 13 minutes what I am doing. its like men are attracted to outlandish bitches.
when I meet a guy, and I fall head over heals for him, he's a neglectful bastard. he doesn't call EVER. he makes excuses. and quite frankly doesn't care. its like the chase is over, he has the girl if he wants her. so he just drops the whole idea and moves on.
god... dating is RETARDED!!! its like, people only get married now days when both people either suck up all their bullshit and get their act together. or have nothing better to do, and marriage just seems like the next best idea. Kudos for those who are happily married (in my generation), I hope you last all that "forever" you promised eachother. as for me. I'm a callous bitch.
ok i'm tired, time to go home.